Marriage is quite a hot topic and having written about it several times before, I feel like this is the appropriate time to re-visit it. There comes a time when a man gets tired of games. The fatigue comes with a craving for a family life – the need to marry and settle down. But the truth is, you can’t marry anyone, you have to select, using both your heart and intellect. As an African and Kenyan man, there are certain types of women you shouldn’t marry.
Marriage is supposed to be a ‘happily ever after kind of thing’ and even though married people are never fully happy, your percentage of joy should be at the highest figure possible. To achieve that, you need a good woman, not these 10 types:
The lady that can’t cook.
The same reason your father didn’t marry a woman that couldn’t cook is the same reason you shouldn’t marry one too. We all remember those delicious meals our mums always made for us. How we always frowned when we couldn’t get more chapati or meat? Well guess what? As an African man you are entitled to those kinds of meals for the rest of your life and they should no longer come from your mother or from a restaurant. They should come from your wife.
We’re living in a generation that has lots of Pizza women who don’t know how to prepare chapati or good ugali. Shun these kind of women if you can. No matter how good a cook you are as a man, you wouldn’t want to be cooking all the time. So if you see signs of burnt eggs, watery ugali or high school vegetables, run to the hills before the two of you tie the knot.
The lady that handles little children carelessly
How does she react when that little kid who’s begging in town runs towards her? How does she handle her little siblings? Does she buy stuff for them? Does she miss them and yearns to spend time with them? These are the questions you should always ask yourself as a man. When you have the answers, you can use them to determine how motherly she can be. A lady that mishandles children will never be a good mother.
The lady that is completely obsessed with you
This woman is very difficult for a man to date, let alone marry. At first, you might be flattered and honored that she is so into you, but very quickly, you start feeling overwhelmed and suffocated by her. As a woman, you must have something going on in your own life so that you are not just waiting by the doorfor your man to come home.
A woman that is totally obsessed with you might also turn out to be very dangerous. She might burn your clothes or car when word reaches her that you werespotted in a restaurant with your female workmate. Some even go to extremes like stalking you wherever you go, Avoid such women.
I know you all know the ratchet perfectly well by now. The ratchet loves the life of the party and has misplaced priorities in life. You know the type of ladies that leave their babies at home and go partying all night? Ratchets believe that life is all about merriment and YOLO. No, there’s more to life.
Some don’t have a fashion sense, they have a nude sense. Non decent dressers are appealing when you are drunk or when all you need is a quick fix but the last thing you want to do is marry someone who put’s their body on display for the rest of the world to see. Without going into too much detail, I would encourage you to marry someone who respects their body enough to keep it covered and modest.
The lady with daddy issues
This woman usually likes being taken care of and nothing else. She always looks for her daddy’s qualities in every man. Her persona is still stuck on her childhood self despite the fact that she’s a grown up woman. She’s always looking to receive all the love without giving any back. Deep down sheis looking for a father figure, not a boyfriend or husband.
Initially, when you date such a woman, you might like how she looks up to you for approval and the answer to all of her questions, but soon, you realize that you want to a real woman not a girly one; definitely not someone who is stuck in her teen years trying to get Daddy to notice her. This is the type of lady that might frown when you buy a gift for your daughter instead of her.
The lady that hates her parents, your parents, relatives and everything traditional
You know that kind of lady that will advise you to start a bar instead of wasting your money on farming? Everything traditional is stressful to her. If you want a beautiful family, you should marry a woman who is open. By open I mean she has the ability to handle your annoying mother and embrace African values. She must be caring towards her own parents and offer them help from time to time. Family comes first. She shouldn’t be totally clouded by western culture. If she’s the opposite of all this, jeopardy will creep in at a certain point in your marriage.
The ‘Bossy’ lady
This woman can’t help herself; she likes to order around. She has a preference for instruction- she likes it when everything be done in her way. As a Kenyan man, you should have the majority say in your relationship or it should at least be equally split.
When you first meet her, you might think this character trait is cute. You feel like you are in an erotic movie, playing the subject and she, the naughty mistress. However, with time, you begin to notice that things aren’t right. Once you start to feel like you are in primary school being told what to do by your annoying Mathematics teacher, chances are that you will end up giving this woman her walking papers. So why marry her in the first place?
The Gossip queen and Non-stop talker
This woman loves to gossip and she loves to hear things about other people as well. Initially when you meet her, you might be amused by her anecdotes but eventually, you begin to wonder what she is saying behind your back.It’s okay when a woman gossips with her girls, but when she brings the gossip to you, she has a problem. And if you entertain the gossip, you have a problem.
This type of woman also wants to be at least as good as everyone else she knows. She is constantly talking about what the other people do and what the other peoplehave. This places a lot of undue pressure on you as her man and eventually, you justgets fed up that she can’t appreciate what you have instead of wishing she was someone else.
If all she does is talk and talk yet she doesn’t counter her words with actions, you need to reevaluate your relationship. Happiness is not milked from endless speech and man shall not live on bed time stories alone.
The Negative Nun
She’s the woman who can find something negative in just about anything. And although there is nothing wrong with being a little skeptical, living life with someone who is constantly negative will definitely put a damper on your relationship. It’s not worth it.
She is the type of woman men are the weariest of. (Of course, there are some men who love this woman because of their own insecurities.) She claims that she lovesyou just the way you are, but little by little, she chips away at just about everythingabout you. If it isn’t your wardrobe, then it’s your taste in music.
This woman thinks that being a game player will help her land the best man. She has the ability to play with men’s hearts perfectly. This is always the kind of women that has men in ranks e.g from number one to ten, each one with a specific role in her life. She ends up marrying the one that gives her less trouble and this might just be you. Her whore behavior never ends
I’m all for grace and second chances, but the last thing you want is to find yourself in a marriage with someone you can’t even trust. I’m a huge believe that everyone can change, but please don’t get caught up in the lie that cheating is just normal part of life.