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Researchers in Germany have it on good authority that it’s healthy for a man to bond with the boys.

The findings indicate that it lowers a man’s stress levels better than a night out with his partner or family. The researchers found out that male stress hormones soared in the company of the wife or resident brats, but the same was the reverse among a pride of lions.

My personal physician, Dr Mongere, has told me endless times that men in the ‘Bamba 40’ age bracket in Kenya are giving funeral homes roaring business, though they appear fit when alive.

Many of us have always blamed it on witchcraft. But as it turns out, according to Dr Mogere, the culprit is pressure. His advice is that men should put work aside over the weekend for a night out with the boys. Not surprisingly, ‘Bamba 40’ men are forming WhatsApp groups of former primary school buddies?

I am sure married women will disagree with this research as most think that when men are out, they must be having affairs. But I would like to assure the women that not all men are the same.

When growing up, men getting together was normal during what was called ‘Member’s Day’— which fell on Fridays, when the man came home late because he had to meet his friends in a pub. It’s only that the modern man abused ‘Members Day’ by extending it by more than two days.

Every relationship has its trying moments, and how a couple approaches them matters. I found out why men prefer coast women to mamanzi wa Nairobi. Akina Mwanaidi and Halima treat men with respect, prepare bathing water, offer refreshments and only bring out nagging issues after the man has relaxed. That way, the hubby reacted positively. Not so Nairobi wives, who start shouting at their men from the gate, shaming them in front of neighbours with insults like, “Mwanaume wa aina gani wewe!”

Some of my married friends look for comfort in bars from Monday to Monday due to stress manufactured at home. Bars provide refuge until the wee hours when the wife is asleep. That way, noises are avoided.

 

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