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Hi. We thought you should know that Beyoncé is pregnant with twins. The pop icon just announced her pregnancy on Instagram in a very baller way. “We would like to share our love and happiness,” the Queen wrote in her Instagram post. “We have been blessed two times over. We are incredibly grateful that our family will be growing by two, and we thank you for your well wishes.”
By we, Beyoncé means Beyoncé and her husband, the very rich and successful rapper Jay Z, and their 5-year-old daughter, Blue Ivy. It’s our job to speculate how impending twins will affect Jay Z’s life. Here are 9 things the hip-hop titan probably won’t be able to do now that he’s about to be a dad again.
1. Drive a Fancy Sports Car Really Fast
Although we don’t have proof, it is reasonable to assume based on his considerable wealth that Jay Z drives fancy sports cars. And by the transitive property, if he drives fancy sports cars, he probably drives them really fast. But Jay Z is going to have to think about the safety of his twins. Slow down, Jay Z.2. Worry About Whatever the Hell Tidal IsJay Z is a major shareholder in this subscription-based streaming music service, which is buggy and clunky and doesn’t have as robust a catalog as Spotify or Apple Music. Jay Z must let one of his other Tidal shareholders, such as Madonna, Nicki Minaj, or the band Arcade Fire, worry about growing Tidal’s paltry user base.

3. Go to Paris to Record Watch the Throne 2 With Kanye West

Jay Z probably won’t have time to jet to Paris to record the long-awaited follow-up to Watch the Throne, his joint album with fellow rapper and friend Kanye West.

4. Smoke Lots of Cigars

Jay Z has his own cigar line, the Cohiba Comador. He can totally keep selling these cigars, but he shouldn’t smoke too many of them, because his kids need their dad to be around for decades to come.

5. Binge-Watch Narcos

Jay Z probably loves Narcos, but where’s he going to have the time to just sit and watch Narcos all day when he has three kids to tend to?

6. Beef With Nas

It appears as though Jay Z and Nas have for the most part settled their legendary beef, which we had to confirm by Googling, “Are Jay Z and Nas friends now?” Good. Let bygones be bygones. With twins on the way, Jay Z has no time to revisit his beef with Nas.

7. Buy Another Sports Team

Jay Z didn’t even have time to own his first sports team, the Brooklyn Nets, which is why he sold his share in 2013. He better not buy another.

8. Just Hang With the Boys, You Know?

The boys will understand.

9. Try Anything Funny

On her 2016 album Lemonade, Beyoncé strongly implied that Jay Z may have been unfaithful, which is a very foolish thing to do once, let alone twice. Don’t cheat on Beyoncé, Jay Z. Think about the kids. Think about us.

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